When we think about creating good boundaries, most of us have an idea that “strong” boundaries are fixed boundaries - this idea is woven into the mainstream culture, a sense that who we are is mostly static and so things that we like stay that way, things that we don’t like stay that way. But this type of boundary can become stale and flat over time, a rote answer to life instead of a fluid, flexible, living relationship with who we are, what life means to us, where we fit in the world in a given moment.
Have you noticed that the farther you walk on the path, the more individuated your preferences, needs, and desires become? A beloved mentor of mine talks about this often, that the more you become who you are, the more unique your path looks...
What is your relationship to anger? Does it burn you out? Does it flare up when you feel pushed on? Does it dissipate as quickly as it arises, or does it smolder and linger as a burning resentment?
Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions.…